People around me keep on asking what is wrong between me and Puvi? Some even told that I am going mad! Well, I am going mad for your information… So many things that reminding me everyday so many about him… Everything I see and do, it reminds me of him… I stop laughing truly a year ago… I laugh and smile but Only I myself know how fake is my laugh and smile! I dun laugh and smile from my heart, my heart cries and dying inside, How can it produce a sincere laugh or true smiles if the source of Happiness of my heart is Taken away! There are times where I just want to stop and cry in middle of nowhere… Times where I just want to run away from everything and lock myself up… Times where I just wish I can rip my heart off my body… Times where I just want to cry out loud to let everyone know how sad I am… Times where I just wish I was DEAD!
I love to sleep because I can see him in my dreams sometimes! So near and so real… Telling me that he loves me so much and everything will be alright once again! He will hug me tight! I cry…I even cry in my dreams… But I dont know why I cry… Is it because I really feel happy that he is coming back to me or Is it because I knew that was just a dream that would not come true??! After I wake up, I will try to continue my sleep wishing to see him again… And usually I will end up crying and sobbing on my bed for hours … I really wish I could stay forever in my dream and never to be waken up anymore!